the girl that i am
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i am a girl in love
with an image that i have created
in my mind are fantasies
of a life where i do not cry
but i live in a harsh reality
my soul bleeds through my eyes
i have loved and lost
and i only continue losing
because i cannot bring myself
to let go of this dream
i do not live in a world
where you are not by my side
i make excuses for you
in order to feel better about myself
i am oversexed
used and abused
nothing but an object
a cute entity
because i'm tiny and asian
and i'm not good for anything else
than what people expect me to be
i stand on my own two feet
only to be beaten down again
they pull at my black hair
and scratch at my yellow skin
stabbing me in the heart
tearing me to pieces
to feast in my destruction
i am fouled and dirty
fucked and fucked and fucked
my body screams with lust
my heart leaps with passion
my love for you burns deep in my veins
where blood no longer flows
nothing but tears
dried tears that i keep crying
screaming and screaming
looking for love
building a dream a fantasy
pretending to smile
making something of myself
being proud of the girl that i am
loving and loving and loving
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